Awesome

by ctotheb

“Be still and know that I am God.”- Psalm 46:10

Silence. As I sit and type and try to avoid all the cliché introductions of any journal/blog/memoir I remember the silence I fought to avoid. I engaged with Linsanity, Tebowmania and any entertainment that would help me avoid the silence. The vulnerability after the music stops. The crushing reality that in spite of the intimacy of the relationship, you need God so much more than He needs you.

This my friends is a tough pill to swallow.

I had a theological debate with a friend of mine over the immutability of God. Where I am in my walk, I can’t imagine God changing. Yes, scripture even says God is the same yesterday, today and forever. In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and was God. (John 1:1)

When thinking about the cost that Christ paid on Calvary one must consider the duality of triumph and disaster. It’s not as if Christ’s death was a mere mirage or somehow just a cheap trick. Disaster was unleashed at the same moment of triumph. Jesus died. To God be the glory. 

I think Christians nowadays don’t appreciate Good Friday enough. We all want to get to Easter. (Even Easter is getting a bad rap and our relationships become as empty as that tomb pastor was talking about.) The grace that we receive DAILY is cheapened by our unwillingness to address the cost.

This is a special week for me. It is the first week since Superbowl Sunday that I have not gone to the hospital or doctor’s office. I never imagined that would become a cause of celebration for me but at the same time I never want this to be a source of pity. There are too many people carrying cups I can’t even fathom. Who am I to take any credit for this? Even in my humility there is the stench of pride that continues to remind me, God ain’t done with me yet!

I hope to write as often as I can and share my insights, life experiences, anecdotes and the like here. Promise it won’t all be heavy but it will have a rich appreciation of the absurd.

Endure.

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